I think i'm going to cry myself to sleep tonight. I just helped the guy i like fix his relationship wth his girl and another girl he likes. God i'm hopeless. He doesn't even realize the feelings i have for him. He's so damn confusing though because he sends me such mixed signals all the damn time. Then the kiss...God i swear i thought my legs would give out on me when he kissed me that day on the staircase. That was before her i never though...i never dreamed i'd get my heart crushed like that. But i dont know...He's just soo damn confusing to me since he sends me signals like he likes me sometimes and other times its like he doesnt. I just dont get it. I cried after helping him fix his issue. I hid on the staircase and i cried till my headached and my heart felt empty. I have a gaping whole in my chest and i have NOTHING to fill it with. Pain does nothing, anger not a thing, liquor HA! i wish. I dnt do drugs so it wouldn't help at all.
I'm in that stage where i'm just about ready to give up and tell the world. "Fuck you, you can all go to hell!!" I'm tired of always being teh one to help and fix things but have no one notice when i'm hurting. I'm tired of being the one who keeps pestering pple to tell me their problems so i can help but when its obvious i need help they dont try at all. I've tired of giving all i can give yet recieving nothing in return. I'm just so...TIRED. But...I don't know what to do. I'm not the type of person to be cruel and mean. And just forget about everyone. I never understood why people told me i was too kind now i do. Sometimes i wish i could be selfish.
No comments:
Post a Comment