POSSIBLE BOOK PUBLISHING!!

I sent out one of my book manuscripts and i just might get a chance to publish a book i've been working on! I'm so excited!! If this actually gets published and sent to book stores it would be the best thing ever! I would be sooo happy if that was to happen! I cant wait for some news on whether or not they like or will even accept my work. wish me luck guys!!

Back and fixing the pieces

Hey i've probably neglected this place for a while. As usual lifes been full of ups and downs but then I've figured thats just how its going to be for a while. This song was a recommendation so i'm recommending it to you all, it's pretty good. Catchy tune :P. Might start getting back into the groove of posting back up, promise i'll try not to be so dark anymore ;P

Wishful thinking

I think i'm going to cry myself to sleep tonight. I just helped the guy i like fix his relationship wth his girl and another girl he likes. God i'm hopeless. He doesn't even realize the feelings i have for him. He's so damn confusing though because he sends me such mixed signals all the damn time. Then the kiss...God i swear i thought my legs would give out on me when he kissed me that day on the staircase. That was before her i never though...i never dreamed i'd get my heart crushed like that. But i dont know...He's just soo damn confusing to me since he sends me signals like he likes me sometimes and other times its like he doesnt. I just dont get it. I cried after helping him fix his issue. I hid on the staircase and i cried till my headached and my heart felt empty. I have a gaping whole in my chest and i have NOTHING to fill it with. Pain does nothing, anger not a thing, liquor HA! i wish. I dnt do drugs so it wouldn't help at all.

I'm in that stage where i'm just about ready to give up and tell the world. "Fuck you, you can all go to hell!!" I'm tired of always being teh one to help and fix things but have no one notice when i'm hurting. I'm tired of being the one who keeps pestering pple to tell me their problems so i can help but when its obvious i need help they dont try at all. I've tired of giving all i can give yet recieving nothing in return. I'm just so...TIRED. But...I don't know what to do. I'm not the type of person to be cruel and mean. And just forget about everyone. I never understood why people told me i was too kind now i do. Sometimes i wish i could be selfish.

finger eleven - One Thing

Theres just not enough words to describe how this song makes me feel. I dont think i even know how i would describe it in coherent sentences if there were words to describe it.

Silly girls never learn

"Just Close your eyes and feel my breath against your skin. If you feel it that means that i'm real and i'll never leave so stop worrying" -My loving Heartbreaker

Yeah so this is basically the tale of a girl who doesnt learn to stop making the same mistakes AKA me or at least as much as i'll say.

So yeah i have alot of issues but then again who doesnt, who doesnt have something to complain about, to cry about? I mean we all have something...right? yeah well sometimes i just need to get everything off my chest so i can just...Scream, yell, cry...Anything to get this weight off. Sometimes is just gets to the point where i'm just really really tired of it all. I have so many i miss and need to see but i never will. Damn sometimes i think i'm really messed up you know?

But whatever, it doesnt mean anything if you dont have that one person standing by your side right? if you don't have that one person who understands you? Well i've tried to find that person countless times and it always feels like i'm making the same mistake. Something always goes terribly wrong and i end up getting hurt. Sometimes i think i'm being punished, that i'm doing something wrong. I just cant figure out what though...Its a little confusing to me. Guys are a species i will never understand, never.